When I was brainstorming names for my blog with friends back in November, this pun was at the top of the list. If it's still unclear, I'm trying to say that I'm trying... and that feels like a pretty great summary for the first three weeks at Pre-Service Training.
First of all, I'm not sure I've ever met a more diverse, incredible group of people. Nor have I ever become friends so quickly with 58 other humans. I guess the experience of leaving behind our entire lives, flying to the other side of the world together, and starting from absolute scratch will bond a group of people. The first ten days of our experience in Thailand, the whole group stayed in a hotel in Suphanburi. In those ten days, we ate new Thai food together, began to learn about the Thai culture, and spent a significant amount of time learning and getting into some shenanigans as a large group. Here are a few pictures of all 59 of us! My apologies to friends and mentors who asked how large the group would be... I had no idea. I had been saying 20, the answer is 59. Is it too late to change my answer? :)
I also am experiencing real, true, gritty culture shock for the very first time. Sure, I've traveled before to new countries and new cultures. I've even traveled alone in new countries and new cultures. But never before have I been tasked with integrating into a family, learning a new language, respecting a culture with which I am unfamiliar, and doing it all without speaking any English. As I think more about it, my trip to Europe was entirely surrounded by English speakers - and you could even count on the host country nationals to speak English. Even when I traveled alone I could mostly do my own thing and only integrate as was beneficial to me. Here, my fellow English speakers are each with their own host family, and you cannot count on English being a shared language.
At first, I was overwhelmed. I felt like I understood nothing, did everything wrong, and was absolutely failing at everything I did. My first day, I walked on their kitchen floor with my shoes on (which I KNEW was an absolute no-go), left my fan running when I went to class (sorry Mom, you were right to teach me to turn things off when I leave a room), and had no idea what to do with the food they served me for dinner. A friend of mine has said that he feels like a baby - we can't speak the language, we do most things wrong, and yet our host families still think we're funny. It seems a pretty apt comparison. I am a Thai baby.
But I knew it was going to be hard. They told us that we can do hard things. So, I smiled, nodded, and repeated words I didn't yet understand. One week into this home stay experience, I can speak basic Thai with my family and usually understand the general idea of what they're saying to me (and vice versa). I've been given the Thai nickname of "naam wan" which I'm told means "sweet as syrup" - a fact that absolutely warmed my heart. My host brother waves and beams at me whenever they pass me on my bike... which is a huge improvement considering he hid from me most of the first few days.
I cooked spaghetti for myself and Si (my host bro, 9 years old) today and my host mom cracked up and took pictures of me. The spaghetti sauce was just straight ketchup... which actually wasn't as bad as it sounds. I've eaten foods that I've never seen before - and they were delicious. Thai food is more than Pad Thai, and I am LOVING being able to try each new dish. I also bike 10-15 miles a day, so I feel totally justified when I enjoy dinner every night. From coconut fish curry (so far my fave) to Thai chicken, I've learned to use the phrase "chuey gin" which translates just to "help eat" when I have absolutely no clue how to eat what they've put in front of me. Every single time, my host family is patient and wonderful - and the food rocks.
Every sunset is vibrant red, and every sunrise is over rice fields. Jury is out on whether or not the red color is due to air pollution, but I'm trying not to let that spoil the beauty. Even on difficult days, our country director reminded us that a "bad day as a Peace Corps Volunteer is a bad day you get to be in Thailand." Everywhere I go, people stare at my 5'8" pasty white, blonde self - and I get wide smiles back every time I say hi in Thai. Walking down the street, everyone smiles back at me - and for someone who was regularly told I am too smiley, this is the country for me. The country nickname is very fitting,"The Land of Smiles"!
This is hard, but I'm trying. Every moment, I'm learning and appreciating a new culture. Every day, my Thai is slightly better and my host family is kind to me in some new way. I will continue to try my best, and I feel good about that.
I'll leave you with this parting thought that for some reason hasn't left my head for a week: Language barrier got me saying "it's okay" like Juan Pablo from the Bachelor.
Sanuk!
Caitlin
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