I don’t know if you can tell from the title, but I’ve been watching a lot of Friends recently. The silence in my blue house is punctuated by the sitcom’s laugh track and the piercing cries coming from my resident Tokay gecko. I’ve yet to figure out where he calls home, but I’m pretty sure he has the same postal address as me. I’ve never met him, and I could honestly go these whole two years and feel really content if I never make his acquaintance.
I think the novelty of being here has finally worn off. Not in a bad way, but it no longer feels like this fresh, new, daunting adventure. Don’t get me wrong, it is absolutely still an adventure, every day – and always in unexpected new ways. But instead of feeling like I’m fighting to keep my head above water and barely able to catch my breath, I feel like I’ve learned how to tread and there’s also finally a few lifeguards on duty.
Which has come in handy, because there have been some rough waters over the last few weeks. An alternate title of this post could be “A Series of Unfortunate Events.” On a Monday, I was approached by a drunk man, a wildly uncomfortable interaction that led to me taking refuge in the house of my neighbor Kru Pii, and ended with Kru Pii chasing the man away with a broom. Tuesday, the man was back – and my coworkers at the Tessaban took me to report the harassment to the city’s police station. On Wednesday, I electrocuted myself and had to go to the hospital. Yeah, you read that right. I electrocuted myself. Because I’m an idiot and probably also (according to my community) cursed.
After the week I’ve had, you would think I’d be at the end of my rope. At the very least, you would think that I would be exhausted from the stress and contemplating what I’m even doing here. But my prevailing thought through all of this is that I’m so stinking content right where I am. Despite everything.
In the midst of seas that would toss even the strongest of ships, I can’t help but feel like every step I’ve ever taken has led me to here. It sounds like an exaggeration, but I’m not sure that it is. I’ve reflected on every place the tide has carried me up until now, and it seems every battle has prepared me for the battles I’m facing now.
Can you also tell I just watched Pirates of the Caribbean?
Working at daycare and camp, coaching speech and skiing, I feel so prepared to be a mentor to these kids – because I know I can do it. Some of the moments I hold most dear are memories of parents thanking me for making an impact on their kid. It was about showing up then, and it’s about showing up now.
My sophomore year of college was the loneliest year of my life. Due to the perfect storm of a bad break-up, schedule conflicts, and a dry campus, I spent most lunches eating by myself, most weekends on my own, and literally turned from an extrovert into an introvert out of necessity. Though I would do so many things differently if I could change it, that year has prepared me so well for right now. I like my own company, and I’m no longer afraid of being alone. In fact, I’m content when I’m alone, and I’m more independent than I’ve ever been. That battle prepared me for this one.
I interviewed for a dream job on the East coast after I graduated, and I didn’t get it. Turns out that if I had gotten that job, I would have been ineligible to do Peace Corps for the rest of my life. Peace Corps wasn't even on my radar back then, but I’m so thankful I didn’t get that job.
I took the United Nation’s Young Professionals Program test in October of 2017 to try to get a job at the United Nations. I was informed back in 2017 that I did not pass the test, and I got a comically late email explanation just the other day (two years later). I missed the cutoff of the test by one point. One point. Both affirming and frustrating, it led me to here. If I’d have passed that test, I’m sure I would be on some different adventure – but it wouldn’t be this one.
I took a job after college that was not at all in the field I’d studied. Though I loved the people, the company, and some of the work, I could tell that it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. My job kept changing, and somehow every time it changed, I liked my job less. It was almost like I wasn’t meant to find a job that I loved in Minnesota. Desperation led me to apply to Peace Corps, something I may never have done if my job at home was comfortable and fulfilling.
One of my absolute favorite things in Minnesota was coaching the high school Alpine Ski team. As much as it killed me to leave and miss my fifth year with them, I know that my experience with those brilliant, wonderful, hard-working kids has prepared me to connect with the brilliant, wonderful, hard-working kids on this side of the world.
I remember having a conversation with an RA back in college about Bethel’s marriage culture and how I was sad that I hadn’t yet found my person – and what she said stuck with me. Maybe you haven’t found them, she mused, because you still have to have your adventure. Leaving someone behind would have made this so much harder, I’m glad I didn’t have to.
The seas I’ve sailed have prepared me so well for what’s on the horizon, and I’m so thankful for that. I signed up for this adventure, and I’ll go wherever the tides take me.
Cue Pirates of the Caribbean theme song.
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