Thoughts on Goodbyes

How long is 27 months, really?

This month leading up to departure has consisted of coffee connects in the morning, lunches out around noon, and breweries for meetings in the afternoon. My days have consisted of hellos and goodbyes as I've been trying to connect with my people before I go. Here are some things I've noticed.

I suck at goodbyes. In most cases, I leave a coffee shop or a brewery saying "I'll see you again before I go, right? This isn't goodbye." Even after I intentionally set up the time to say goodbye. Goodbye just feels so final, and I've decided that relationships don't work that way. In this age of social media and connectivity, I don't think I'll miss anything big - even from across the world. Sure, I'll miss a few weddings, a few birthdays, a few graduations... but I find myself hoping that not much will have changed between now and when I come back, relationship-wise. I'm telling myself that my people will always be my people, no matter how long I'm gone.

I'm being intentional, and it's new for me. My biggest take-away from this season of my life is that if I was always this intentional, my relationships would be stronger. If I was always willing to drive to see someone, if I always initiated finding a time to connect, if I learned how to drink black coffee (tbh any other type of coffee is too expensive to maintain this lifestyle), I would feel more connected. It's easier now because I have an excuse, but what would my life be like if I wasn't ever afraid to "bother" someone to hang out? Or showed people I value their friendship so much that I am willing to schedule my day around seeing them? I know I am privileged to be able to do this month without also working full-time, but it's a matter of priorities for me. I prioritized these people and these relationships, and I loved it.

It'll be the same when I get back. I know that life won't actually be the same when I get back, but I do think my relationships will (hopefully) generally remain unchanged. One of my best friends from college spent a year teaching in Madagascar, and it went by in a flash. I updated her on my life for about half an hour, and we were back to where we were before she left. My best childhood friend lives three houses down, and it had been months since I'd seen her - but somehow nothing about our friendship had changed. I spent 6 months without seeing a college roommate, and we were blown away that it had been that long when it hadn't even seemed like it. How long is 27 months, really? I'll have coffee with everyone all over again when I get back, and I'm looking forward to hearing the life updates.

I'm going to keep telling people that they're welcome to visit! I know that the cost to get to Thailand might keep people away, but my heart is hoping that I'll be able to stay in touch with home at least a little bit while I'm gone. From letters to WhatsApp calls, I hope to be able to get a slice of home when I need it the most. And hey, maybe a few friends can even travel to see me at some point! I won't get my hopes up, but I AM counting on my Mom and Dad coming a time or two...

See you later. Goodbye for now. Peace out. Until next time.

Maybe I am getting better at goodbyes. Maybe not. Either way, see you in 27 months!